We haven't talked since thenand its killing me. A condition in and of itself is not a reason to . If your ex is going out a lot, sleeping with other women, and having a good time, he obviously isnt depressed or having a hard time coping with stress. This should be your priority other wise your partner is going to make you anxious and force you to overinvest in him and the relationship. Hi, I have been in a (very) long distance relationship for about a year and a half. I also dated a guy for six months, had a crazy connection, then he broke it off because he was depressed and lost. And guilt wont help him feel closer to you. Those are real friends/romantic partners. They leave their partners at their worst and run off to enjoy their lives to the fullest. Other brain areas involved are the striatum ( responsible for reward system) and the insula (consciousness and self-awareness). Moreover, the content may be subjective, and not necessarily backed by research.Whilst, these personality articles have been written by subject expert psychologists the sole purpose of the article is to inform, educate and entertain, and cannot be substituted for professional opinion or advice. I can be free and spend more time on things that make me feel good.. He cant be because someone who leaves when youre struggling emotionally is in the relationship only for the good times. He could come back after hes overcome depression but dont count on it. Just good times when we were physically together. How Can You Communicate After Your Depressed Partner Leaves? We spent everyday focusing on our studies, our work, while building our love, our relashionship, looking forward to that future together where we would finally be able to be together. maybe we can talk privately? Don't take it personally when he pushes you away or avoids your calls/texts 3. My boyfriend has a terrible relationship with his dad. It tells him youll soon want him to reach your standards and meet your needs, so hed rather not stick around for that. People might also have a higher chance of getting depressed if they have been through a previous depressive episode, or they have a family history of depression. He said he was sorry for things not working out and that he didnt have the energy to try. Hell try to be happy for a while and will feel like he is. Or when he really starts to realize how much he misses me and starts feeling better? My Ex Is Drinking/Partying After A Breakup. But when something bad happens (not implying that it will), he could want someone to help him get through his misery. I understand why the break up happened because he has too many things to deal with. Recently, his mother called him up and was very upset that his dad wanted to finalize the divorce with his mother and ever since then he has been distant and all. I know you want to help your boyfriend and get back together with him, but as long as hes depressed, hes set on leaving. Hi there. Thank you all. From the following article My depressed boyfriend broke up with me, you will gather information about the criticality and consequences of having a depressed partner. He has been diagnosed with Depression and Bi-Polar. There's also a good blog, called Storied Mind, that has a lot of postings from people in the same spot you're in. Before the breakup, he ghosted me for a week almost & told me he needs to think about things. You might think about seeing a therapist yourself to work through this. It really doesn't change. Its unlikely that hell come back just because hell deal with depression. . I am still grieving right now and will share my story. On Sunday he was still texting me hearts So now Im sad and confused. I know he really cares about me. I just dont know how I can help him because when I did go see him & call him even after the breakup, he didnt pick up my calls or reply to my messages. All she had was work, studies, and she had to learn to pay bills on her own, manage her money and have to worry about it. A dog or a cat will likely provide you with more comfort and security than someone who finds it excruciatingly painful to help his or her partner get through a difficult time. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Mentalhealthforum is another option. We talk or text everyday, but then his calls and text were getting father apart. You will also learn how to help your partner get over the dark phase and ways to reconnect and rebuild your relationship with him. Its really sad and i was heartbroken that she decided that, but on the other hand i know it is for the best, i only hope she feels better and manage to heal, and be happy. Dont let this impact how much you admire your partner, but also leave an open door for checking on each other. But if hes avoiding people, blaming himself, and missing out on sleep, then hes likely dealing with the real deal and needs a lot of understanding. Boyfriend broke up with me because he has depression and anxiety Its not you, its me is an excuse dumpers use to prevent dumpees from blaming them for the breakup and making things difficult for them. Me and my girlfriend have been in a long distance relashionship for almost 3.5 years now. Neurotransmitters like dopamine, GABA and Cytokine are considered responsible for anhedonia. To him, the relationship became suffocating and tedious, so he thought he needed to get rid of as many stressors as he could. They can try to make you feel insecure about yourself and the relationship, and with that, the relationship might become co-dependent. As the title suggests, my (ex) boyfriend who struggles with depression broke up with me. Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? - Quora My emotions at present are like an R rated version of a Magic Eight Ball in the hands of an over-caffeinated child. Heres how you can tell if your ex-boyfriend is telling the truth. Remove Ads Nina85352392 over a year ago And as long as you are open to it, learn and grow with the challenges. He did speak with a counsellor and the counsellor suggested he get out of any relationships he is sabotaging. Be your partner mentally healthy or not. Trust issues may include factors such as jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, relational game playing, lack of reliability and dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial compatibility, and lack of mutually-supportive goals. We are going to look for counseling and a proper therapy with proper psychologists that can give her proper help and medications, and after that ill let her be and give her the space and time she needs, while still being there for her at any time and whenever she needs me. He even apologized for the relationship being one sided that he was sorry for neglecting me for 2 or 3 weeks and would do better. About 3 weeks ago, my now ex boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because of his depression. As a matter of fact, its only gotten worse because now youre getting frustrated as well. I found this method quite useful to minimise the chance of my mind filled up by the same thoughts all the time it helped me to be less confused, and could progress even though the pain would take a long time to heal. That was why he broke up with you in the first place. This is what depression is and does, it breaks everything that is beautiful, loving, and good. But that will most frequently happen when they have a better mental state. He is an honourable person, he has strong convictions and doesn't make hasty decisions. Despite the timezone and our distance, it didnt even felt like we were in different countries. Tharu. When you try to understand and comprehend your partner, it is very important to be compassionate and gentle. My boyfriend broke up with me the other day because of depression. If his view of you changed, he might not as hell date other people. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'psychreel_com-netboard-2','ezslot_20',121,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-netboard-2-0'); It can also be that they start to affect your sense of security. Read self-help books together to understand how to deal with depression and make a list of everything that could help him get out of the slump comfortably. It can change their behavior, how they see the world, and relate to people. A few days ago my severely depressed boyfriend broke up with me claiming i am much better off without him ..He wants to fight this battle by himself.. He's on strong medications .seeing psychiatrist .so he is getting help.. at the moment he's got his hand full helping him self..quitting smoking and alcohol all at once while working full . Ask him if there is something else making him feel so down and low. However, if your boyfriend broke up with you because hes been depressed and stressed only recently, then chances are he isnt really depressed. He would say he is stressed, not able to sleep. If you know your boyfriend has been struggling with depression, you might have realized his behaviors have changed over time. Get active. If he wanted your pity and support, he would have expressed the desire to talk about the things he needed to stay in the relationship with you. So keep in mind that your depressed ex-boyfriend doesnt want your help right now. He is my best friend, my love, my everything. I Miss My Ex-girlfriend So Much It Hurts! That way, youll exude high levels of self-control and show him that you understand what hes going through and that you truly care about him. Because our relationship is great. We were committed, we had goals, we had projects, we had a future together. Then the next day he messaged me saying he thinks he needs to go back to counselling and didnt know what was wrong. You need to look at signs of depression in order to know whether hes depressed or not. We have not spoken in two weeks. When your partner is suffering from depression, he or she does not have a control that could be exercised voluntarily to stop the symptoms. It helps him focus on his issues and lets him not worry about yours. I just dont understand why he wants a breakup not just a break and space. Yes. It was like he was pulling away from me. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. Along with that, your partner can become controlling.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_16',120,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); This is something that usually escalates as time goes by, and its main focus is to remove the persons autonomy and independence. Be Careful About Breaking Up When You're Depressed Even if i was still there as usual everyday for her while being separated by distance, her mental health slowly got worse. He broke up with me yesterday but wants to stay friends I saw him on Thursday and although he was already down, it went well. Because of the pain thats been hurting you for weeks, youre starting to project your unhappiness onto your boyfriend. Advice on a break with . Hes the dumper no matter what hes dealing with. In Greek, anhedonia directly translates to without pleasure. It is a condition where one does not find anything interesting. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. Theyre the people who have your best interests at heart and are more than happy to prove that by helping you when youre feeling down. Theyre forgetting to mention why they fell out of love and what kind of behavior or attitude made it hard for them to redevelop their romantic feelings. We've been going out over 5 years and hasn't seemed himself the past few months and then we were together and he suddenly broke down and told me he has developed anxiety and could be depressed and thinks we need to break up so can can be by himself too. Staying One Step Ahead of UC. Always consult your doctor about your medical conditions. If you want to get back to him even though he is depressed you can try to change things up. Then we got really close, and our feelings grew stronger and we decided to take it a step further and be in couple. Affairs arent the only problems, she says. Hes just relieved and elated and is going through the stages of a breakup for the dumper. Instead of talking about it, he (secretly) blames you for it and thinks you dont listen or sympathize with him. So if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, dont immediately assume that his only issue is his mental health. I got to know through his friends that he has now focused more towards religion & has also mentioned that relationships arent working for him at all. I could see his life spinning out of control and he would say every time we talked his life is Fed. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks agohe suffers from depression and anxiety. 1) Should I be present for him during his hard times as a friend? severely depressed boyfriend broke up with me Your partner did not choose to be in depression, remember that. Genes are not the only factor responsible though. I'm also glad you think you have great qualities such as being a hard working independent woman. How did things evolve for you both ? Depressed Boyfriend broke up with me. One of the most critical factors a person experiences in depression is lack of self-worth and excessive worry. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me and I'm confused as how I But he he couldnt read it yet because of how much hes hurting. But you will have a hard time if you want to do it. Everything in our relashionship went well, as usual, until when she started her 2nd year of college in September 2020. Other than genetic inheritance, an individuals experiences,environment and perceptions plays an important part as well. Does he miss me? It might be difficult to put yourself in your exs shoes, but think about it this way. Thats because theyve committed to each other and know that life isnt always a cakewalk. This can make it hard for them to be around people, even if the person, their partner in that matter, is supportive and understanding. And I also deal with depression but have been getting help and I know how he feels in a way, but I know how to talk about feelings and when things bother me, he doesnt. Anyway, here is the story: he has a history of depression and grew up without a mother; he has 2 kids from a previous marriage in another country very difficult situation but the love we felt for each other was intense. Always remember that people who care about you will stay in your life and come to your aid. Do I just still treat him like a dumper?! I know thats what your emotions are telling you to do, but its not right. Our relationship feels like a burden to me now. going thru this right now.. a week in today and non contact with him im so sad and confused but also cant even begin to imagine what HE is going through this is really hard for me. Hi there. Ever since I found out about this, Ive been more understanding of his issues & whenever I ask how hes doing, he doesnt like sharing his thoughts or concerns regarding his depression with anyone (not even family). Mature couples support each other no matter what emotional difficulties theyre going through. She was alone in a city, with no family, no friends, no roomates, with no boyfriend close to her due to covid. Its different from the rest because its tricky to understand and hard to respond to. And that he can't be happy with someone when he's not. Im feeling sad but better as days goes on. I have no desires to truly speak of, as nothing I do is rewarding or satisfying. This is exactly how anhedonia feels. I asked for space but when we do talk for it to be loving. He denies hes depressed but I guess a lot of men do. Did they ever contact you and come back ? Its not uncommon to get blindsided by a depressed boyfriend. And he said "yes..i know it's confusing". Her 5 roomates that shares the house werent there at all, and due to covid some of them had to cancel the lease, so she ended up paying more bills than she planned before moving. She was getting more and more in depression ever since she moved, and i really tried my best to be there for her, to show her that i care and love her, and that shes not alone and that ill always be there for her, as usual and as i always did since we met. It might be good to start considering what to do in the future about this relationship. So we broke up. Remind him about his goals and dreams 2. They dont explain that their exes drained their energy and made them feel smothered or guilty for not being able to reciprocate their feelings and meet their expectations. I desperately wish he had gotten help or spoken to me before he decided our relationship was too much work but I also am so angry because it feels like he didnt fight for us in any kind of way. Hell message you if he changes his mind. If anyone wants to connect and talk through it together, I would love that because none of my friends have been through this before to really advise :/. Its also you because he associated unpleasant emotions with you and let those emotions suffocate him and affect his feelings for you. He said he doesn't know what he wantsso i said "so you love me, but don't know what you want?" Breakups caused by depression are more common than you may think. He also said he doesnt want to be friends or see me frequently because thatll just make moving on harder for him. To him, the relationship became suffocating and tedious, so he thought he needed to get rid of as many stressors as he could. Step 1: Find the real reason for the breakup Think long and hard about what really went wrong in the relationship. If your ex left you because of depression, you need to understand that hes not your ideal partner. Ive been there for him this whole time but he never once got help. Depressed boyfriend broke up with me | Depression | Forums | Patient She is doing a psychology degree at her college, and thats how she realized she might be bipolar and learned more about her symptoms and disorders. Its not his fault, but the pain is making you feel frustrated, forcing you to appear out of character. You have to make sure your husband/boyfriend is motivated to engage in day to day activities as well as recreations such as hobbies, games etc. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'psychreel_com-netboard-1','ezslot_18',118,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-netboard-1-0'); Through that, you both will learn the best ways to help and communicate with each other. Your ex is depressed and is taking the counselors advice seriously. You just accepted the end of the romantic relationship and stopped treating him as the most important person. A relationship may be affected in many ways if one of the partners has some mental disorder. If you feel your husbands/boyfriends depression is no more tolerable and breakup is the only option available, do not leave them untreated in the mid-way. he says how he wants to be best friends and then later date but Im so scared we wont get to do either of those. Theres no guarantee that your ex will come back after hes dealt with depression, but if he starts dating again and gets hurt (or gets hurt in some other way), he could seek solace in you and try to obtain your validation. Your boyfriend is this little thing we call.. Bipolar. We met when he transferred into my class and took a seat next to me.. You need to heal before you consider being in a romantic relationship. That was the only way he could stop investing time and energy in you and feeling pressured into doing things he didnt want to do. He said its been very difficult with his anxiety and depression and feels like he needs to talk to a therapist. If anything, it will increase his need for space and make him want to come back even less. Tell him how his depression can be detrimental to his mental health, his career, his life and his relationships. If he didnt care about you when you needed him the most, he doesnt deserve you at your best either. Depressed Boyfriend Broke Up With Me - Tiny Buddha Before you seek help from a mental health professional, try to understand what your partner is going through. How long did it take? Hed rather distance himself from you (and probably others as well) and spend as much time alone as possible. Dont let yourself get caught up in their diagnosis, enjoy the relationship as you would with any other one. He does suffer from depression and anxiety issues and is on medication. They no more experience any feelings and emotions, nor do they realize how important you are in his life. You have a lot to think about but there are resources and I wish you all the best as you try to figure this out. He told me that he love me and we made plans about the future , we were . But after he went to the hospital that day, he stopped telling me loved me, stopped being affectionate and loving all together. Healthy dumpers tend to make excuses, blame their ex, or just explain why things happened the way they did. Surround yourself with loved ones. They want him to act a certain way even though hes dealing with a lot of problems at the same time and cant act the way they want him to act. There are a lot of stories here about the break up because of the depression (thank you so much to everyone for sharing) but does anyone have a bit more perspective on how these situations actually evolve? Contrary to happy, mature couples, selfish boyfriends tend to do whats best for them. From the article above, the topic My depressed boyfriend broke up with me is discussed. There were times he triggered my trauma too, but I was able to forgive him for it but he says he still hasnt forgiven me. There is a lot on Quora about why does my DP push me away? too. You feel like your assistance was for nothing and that youre not good enough for him.